We’ve all been there. We hope and long for a particular outcome. We pour all our energy into achieving our dreams or trying to remain on what we consider to be the perfect life path. But then, after giving it every essence of our being, life doesn’t always work out the way we expect.
But when we don’t meet expectations, people tend to blame themselves. The more you keep expecting, the more stress you end up putting on yourself. This often becomes a cycle, where you continue to expect too much from something – perhaps of yourself, your partner, or career for example. When expectations rule your life you become victim to disappointment, to the point where we stop expecting anything. Does this sound familiar?
One Way to Stop Feeling Disappointed When You Don’t Achieve Your Expectations
I’ll admit, I’ve experienced this feeling of non-fulfillment on more than one occasion. I’m not advocating that you stop creating long-term goals for yourself. Instead, be more realistic. By focusing only on the future and the outcome of those long-term goals, you will naturally form high expectations. Who is to say that all of your plans will come to fruition 100% of the time? Change inevitably occurs, and it would be impossible to factor the endless possibilities of change into our plans.
Is there a way to avoid feeling disappointed when your expectations aren’t achieved?
The secret is to live in the present, the only place where life exists; the now.
I appreciate that it can be hard to remain tethered in the present, but once we have mastered this ability, the rewards are endless. It’s a special moment when our thoughts aren’t transfixed on what is yet to happen or what has already come to be.
Forming expectations based on memories from our past. I have come to realize that if we are fully present in the moment and consider every situation as new in its own right, by default we cannot hold any expectations. Take the example of meeting up with an old friend, someone you’ve been really excited to catch up with. If you’re expecting the interaction to be exactly as it was based on memories, you may be disappointed. However, if you release expectations, you gain the opportunity to form new memories and enjoy the moment. Being nowhere except in the present. This allows you to view the world with fresh perspective and stops you from dwelling on past memories or worrying about the future.
It hasn’t happened yet and you’re already stressed about it. It’s easy to be stressed about something that hasn’t yet happened. This is okay. Most of us are living anywhere but in the present. Know that there is no reason to give yourself a hard time for being this way. Take a deep breath and focus on what’s happening at this moment, it’s time for you to enjoy. You can plan for the future, but don’t set unrealistic expectations, have faith and allow events to unfold.
Allow The Universe To Surprise You
Do you find it easy or difficult to trust? To trust what has not yet happened? This can be tough; I speak from past experience. The reason it can be difficult for us to trust is because we don’t have control. If you are someone who is used to having control, trusting in the universe is unnerving. It takes practice but once you manage to let go, you’ll relax instead of stress. Start practicing by concentrating only in the present moment and allowing all your worries to fade away as you begin trusting life to guide you.
Not seeing things for what they are, but seeing them as we want them to be. Many of us are guilty of living in the past, holding on to memories or past events, and manifesting them in the actions of the present. Similarly, we may also find ourselves too concerned with the future, worried that something won’t live up to our expectations or give us the full satisfaction we desire. For example, you may find yourself on a beautiful beach receiving a massage but spending the entire treatment worried that the masseuse is not going to spend enough time massaging your feet. Instead of enjoying the wonderful massage in the moment you set expectations for how you imagine the massage to be and in return fail to appreciate the present.
Being in the present allows you to relax and be at peace without distractions. You begin to see things as they are and not for what you want them to be. When you find yourself sidetracked with the past or the future, take a few deep breaths and re-center yourself in the present moment. This is not always easy. But with enough practice, you will be able to master living in your current surroundings and not fall victim to disappointment.
About The Author
Born in Colombia, raised in Florida with a mind full of curiosity on spirituality and how to make the world a better place. Nicole has been practicing yoga since she was 16 years old, ever since she’s wanted to expand her yoga practice which has turned into her ultimate passion. She went to Costa Rica where her practice got more deep and now being a certified yoga instructor, still in Costa Rica, as a writer/blogger and finishing her studies on holistic health. Growing up in a household and group of friends full of support and love is what has allowed her to achieve her dreams and to continue to be where she currently is. Expressing her passions with yoga, writing, health and nature through social media wanting to spread her passion through out the world, one picture and one message at a time. (IG: @nicoletovz)(FB: Nicole Tovar)