Happiness often conjures up different images for different people. For some it may be a day spent in front of the TV catching up on their favourite show and eating a take-away. For others it might mean spending the day on an excursion with their partner. Either way, we all have something we like to do that brings joy into our lives.
Do You Want To Be Happy Or Right?
This is not the type of happiness I am talking about however. Oh sure, the activities mentioned above are enjoyable, but they tend to result in temporary happiness. I’m referring to the kind of happiness that we long for, of a permanent nature, radiating from within us.
For years I kept hearing that happiness comes from within, but I’m not one to always believe everything I hear. I personally have to feel it. So I began to use my own practice as a base for exploration.
This Is How It Started For Me…
I have a friend that has recently graduated from studying Psychology. We were casually talking one day when suddenly our discussion got heated. This wasn’t a two-sided conversation though; it was only me projecting my views. I just wanted to be right, or for her to tell me I was right. I wasn’t trying to listen to what she had to say. It was all about me.
I didn’t take it too seriously. At the time, I wasn’t even aware that I was acting this way. After that conversation, I started to notice a pattern in my everyday life. Not only in conversations, but with everything. It started to affect my friendships, jobs, studies, and relationships. It all became apparent when that same friend one day finally asked me, “why do you always have to be right?”
It was one of those life-changing moments. A real slap in the face! My immediate response was “me? always right? no!” and then it dawned on me, maybe she’s right.
Here I am, trying to discover the happiness within me yet fighting and arguing with others simply because I wanted to be right. Something had to change. I started to become aware of my flaw. Every time I went to work, or talked to others, I observed myself, took notice of my behaviour. I realized that my friend was right, I was constantly trying to be right. I’m grateful that I began to notice my faults. It was time to stop. This attitude wasn’t helping me. Not in the now, or the long run. There was no authenticity in my friendships, relationships, or even with myself.
This is when the change started happening in my life and I made the choice, I don’t always have to be right.
Peace And Happiness Replaced My Unhealthy Need To Be Right
By becoming self-less instead of selfish I starved the ego and fed the soul. When you begin making healthy choices for yourself and breaking negative habits you’ll start to notice positive changes in your life.
This is exactly what happened to me. I started to become a great listener instead of interrupting people and trying to steer the conversation towards me. I absorbed information that others shared instead of interjecting with irrelevant points just to be heard. Little by little, I no longer wanted to feel right all the time. The truth is in many cases – there is no textbook answer. Sometimes it boils down to a matter of opinion. I also felt happiness because those around me started to feel happy.
So take a moment and think about what it is that’s not allowing you to be happy? I’m not referring to external influences, such as your boyfriend breaking up with you, or if you’re in debt. I mean what flaw or fault could be dragging you down and making life more difficult than it needs to be.
You should know that this isn’t something you should expect to discover over night, although that is not to say this may not happen. It’s all a matter of discovering yourself in what should be considered a lifelong practice. But, ultimately, it is us who control who we are and the way we want to be. Especially if we allow unhelpful patterns to prevent us from growing in a positive way or negatively affecting those around us from day to day.
One way to begin your journey of self-discovery is through journaling. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a writer or not. There is no right or wrong way to write down your feelings. Before going to sleep, take out your journal and enjoy some time with your thoughts. What part of your day did you not particularly like? Did you have a fight or argument with someone? What triggered the conflict? How did you deal with the situation? After you’ve done this, try to determine the root cause of the disagreement. Was it your fault? Perhaps something you said, or did as a result of wanting attention? Or wanting love? Or wanting to be right? Writing down these negative encounters will enable you to explore and discover who you are, and what you might like to change. Maybe you’ll discover a pattern like I did, and begin to work on your character, rolling out the parts you don’t like, and replacing them with more positive traits. In the process you’ll create a person you love, and discover true happiness.
Begin your journey to happiness at Blue Osa where a productive day can mean simply getting lost in your thoughts.
About The Author
Born in Colombia, raised in Florida with a mind full of curiosity on spirituality and how to make the world a better place. Nicole has been practicing yoga since she was 16 years old, ever since she’s wanted to expand her yoga practice which has turned into her ultimate passion. She went to Costa Rica where her practice got more deep and now being a certified yoga instructor, still in Costa Rica, as a writer/blogger and finishing her studies on holistic health. Growing up in a household and group of friends full of support and love is what has allowed her to achieve her dreams and to continue to be where she currently is. Expressing her passions with yoga, writing, health and nature through social media wanting to spread her passion through out the world, one picture and one message at a time. (IG: @nicoletovz)(FB: Nicole Tovar)