How To Be Your Own Lover

By Christopher Grohs

Lover of Routine: Transforming Self-Care from Chore to Cherished Practice

At first, I approached routines with a rigid mindset—like a calculated series of tasks that consumed two hours of my time. Instead of feeling nurtured, I felt burdened, as if I were completing a checklist rather than caring for myself. I wondered why routines felt so inconvenient and draining. Was self-care meant to feel like a chore? I knew something needed to change. To truly embrace routine as a lover of my own well-being, I had to shift my perspective. I began to see routines not as obligations but as opportunities to gently care for myself—moments to connect, nurture, and honor my own needs.

Bookmark Your Day: 4 Steps to Create a Supportive Routine

Step 1: Start Your Day Intentionally

Decide how you want to wake up. Do you want to stretch, yawn, or make animal noises in bed? Maybe you prefer journaling or sipping morning coffee. Your morning ritual sets the tone for your entire day, so build a routine that supports your energy and well-being.

Evening Wind Down: As you prepare for sleep, create a calming environment. Write in your journal, listen to a guided meditation, or sip herbal tea. Ease into sleep with gentle stretches on your bed. Create a nightly routine that allows your body to transition into rest.

Rule #1: Make your routine helpful—whether it supports your energy, well-being, connection, or rest.

Rule #2: View your routine as an opportunity for growth and presence.

Step 2: Design Your Evening Routine

Choose a consistent sleep time, then set aside 30 minutes before that to unwind. Start tonight! My go-to routine includes jotting down snippets of my day and practicing a short guided meditation. Ending my day with reflection helps me ease into sleep.

Evening Routine Favorites:

• Journaling
• Guided Meditation
• Restorative Yoga
• Soft Foam Rolling
• Bed Stretching

Step 3: Wake Up Without Distractions

Avoid loud alarms and screen time before bed. Instead, let natural light or a gentle light-up alarm wake you. Start your morning by hydrating with a glass of room-temperature water, perhaps with a slice of citrus from the night before.

Morning Routine Essentials:

• An Eastern-facing window
• A light-up alarm
• Room-temperature water with citrus

Step 4: Commit to Your Routine

Don’t procrastinate. Say “no” to distractions like late-night emails or binge-watching shows. Instead, say “yes” to nourishing activities—like enjoying a cup of tea, massaging your feet, or practicing yoga nidra. Treat your routine as a moment of self-love, embracing every action as an opportunity to nurture yourself.

My Routine Crux:

The body scrub. I love to start and end my day with this invigorating practice. Scrubbing stimulates the lymphatic system, revitalizes the skin, and calms the nervous system.

Once you establish a routine, affirm the most important part of the routine. One activity that is essential. Do that each day, regardless. Write it down. Pick a time. Do it. Make that activity the crux of your routine.

Morning Routines and Evening Rituals: Let Your Environment Guide You

Align Your Routine with Your Environment

Honor your surroundings when crafting your routine. I embrace my local landscape by incorporating elements of nature into my daily practices.

My Morning Routine in Paradise

1. Start with Gratitude and a Morning Dip

I begin my day with a refreshing dip in the pool, watching the sunlight dance on the water. I take a moment to thank the land, the people who care for it, and the mystery that surrounds me. This cool morning bath awakens my senses and prepares me for the day ahead.

2. Walk to Connect with Nature

After my swim, I walk through the paths of Blue Osa, noticing blooming flowers, darting geckos, and dappled sunlight. This mindful walk grounds me and connects me to my surroundings.

3. Enjoy a Cup of Tea

I choose a hot cup of green tea or, occasionally, coffee. The aroma and warmth hydrate my body and awaken my creative energy. This simple ritual prepares me for the day’s tasks.

4. Journaling to Clear the Mind

I write freely, letting my thoughts pour onto the page. This daily practice allows me to process experiences and reset my perspective, fostering creative expression and self-awareness.

5. Practice Walking Meditation

I walk mindfully, focusing on each step, each breath. Sometimes I use a mala to count prayers or chants, cultivating a sense of presence and intention. This practice aligns my body and mind, centering me for the day.

6. Shift Perspective with Inversions

I incorporate inversions into my morning routine to shift my mindset and energize my body. Whether it’s a headstand, shoulder stand, or simply lying with my legs up the wall, this practice keeps my perspective flexible and refreshed.

7. Embrace Acceptance:

I practice self-acceptance by honoring my body just as it is—open to the world around me. Whether I’m swimming in the ocean or walking through the garden, I let myself be seen and embrace my natural form. This act of radical acceptance is the foundation of my self-love.

Final Thoughts: Make Your Routine a Celebration

When you see routines as a chance to care for yourself, they become acts of love rather than obligations. Craft your morning and evening rituals to support your well-being, and let your surroundings inspire your practice. Treat yourself gently and consistently—because you deserve it.

 

 

About the Author

Christopher Grohs was a volunteer at Blue Osa, a yoga retreat in the Osa Peninsula of Costa Rica. He has a strong desire to roll on the floor like a playful kitten and share in the weirdness of human movement potential, often floating around on his hands. He loves bodywork, swimming with contact dancers and crafting morning routines. In 2014, Christopher rekindled his love of yoga with trainings in the “BowSpring” template of alignment with their tagline: less mechanical, more animal. Meow.

He has an on-and-off affair with the East Coast, attending Northeastern University in Boston and spending most of his twenties in Raleigh, North Carolina. At the end of 2014, he ran away from his home—he free-listed his belongings and ventured into the wandering yogi lifestyle.